Options is lesser as you are older

How our values & upbringing affect the way we behave

2011-11-17T16:59:00.001-08:00

This may sound like complaining and it could feel as if it is as a one sided comment. I just find it is difficult to elevate sense of urgency and the culture of accepting feedbacks around here. People are just too obsessed with their own thinking, setting conditions and rarely shares. Human being are too afraid of commitment and accountable of their own actions.

Now, here is something close to work that I am relating now. As of this morning, I have given some feedbacks to a colleague of mine about an online phone application that is supposedly able to purchase movie tickets at the cinema. It was a simple feedback because I am experiencing some difficulties retrieving the QR Code post purchase, and this resulted in me queueing up getting physical tickets. From the sound of it, meaning, defeating the purpose of having a mobile phone application. Purchase over the phone and queue up again? Well, the initial respond from my colleague was, "so far no on complaint". That is a turn off seriously. In other words, it says, "buzz off" / "are you pulling my leg" / "Hey, I am busy". Perhaps, next time, I will not be interested to pass on any feedbacks about this anymore. Let the business suffer and I will go back to the good old days of buying the tickets over at the counter.

But then, reviewing back my colleague's respond, I got a feeling that it wasn't him consiously saying it but the immediate reaction based on his values and upbringing resulted in him uttering such reply. In this country, people are brought up to be protective, and not to hold any accountability. As long as we are able to make sure other people do or "say" it from the horses mouth, it is safe to operate. It is selfish and yet it is true.

Some of my direct reports are so afraid to even send out email and the communicatiom has to come from my desk based on what they have experienced in the past. Avoiding accountability.

I can go on and on about this.

If only my reaction is as simple as I want it to be

2011-11-07T21:06:00.000-08:00

I am writing this blog after a short break. Actually I don't really feel like updating it for many reasons. I would like to talk about many things but somehow I'm just too lazy to do so. What am I saying? Am I ok? Yes I am. I am awefully full from having Yong Tau Fu at Chinatown a while ago and now I am back at my workstation, figuring out what to do for the rest of the day. I have just spoke with a producer of an upcoming charity show that I will have 1 solo song in a production in March 2012 for which I am not sure if I can do a good job with it.

I am still quite tired, but supposed to be rejuvenated upon returning from Langkawi yesterday. It was just a quick weekend escapade away from the busy Kuala Lumpur. The office looks the same, the fellow aunties are still the same, talking about other people rather than looking at themselves. Emails are pouring in and one whole bunch of "to-do" list are just piling up.

Tonight I will be attending another rehearsal for a musical. The show is scheduled on 4 Dec 2011 and after that I shall travel to UK for my Master Degree graduation. I am so excited about the trip because it will be my 2nd visit to Europe since 11 years ago! I mean Malaysia is not too bad but somehow or rather, my interest in musical theatre is not as fulfilling as I want it here.

If I were to describe what I really want to let go in terms of my reactions, I would say probably, the information that others want from me. I have learnt that whenever I say anything, it will be passed on to someone else. As such, it is natural for me not to say anything at all. People like to be pleased, so, say things they want to hear.

I guess, I'd better finish off this peanut snacks that I just bought.

Choice of Words

2011-09-28T18:20:00.000-07:00

I have always told myself not to over react to words, expression and any kind of responses given by people. Most of the time, people are just very poor at expressing themselves and therefore, as a form of insecurity, they covered themselves with retaliation and defensiveness. They may appear superior and defiant in the way they replied but deep down inside they are just feeling too small. For an example, lack of proficiency in conversant language made an individual to use more gestures or even unintentionally uttered some words that might offend any individual.

Today in a facebook message, for which I have learnt a lesson to just praise because there are many whom are just insensitive when posting notes online.

There aren't any physical abuse nor damage to the body condition but words can truly provoke one's mind to attack but having said the above, one should just stop reacting and leave things how it is.

The past 1 year has been total mind boggling. If I were too negative, I will say, it was just a one full year of emotional abuses. I definitely over reacted in some circumstance but most of the time, I have learnt, being honest is probably not the best policy. I have learnt that it is about managing perception, and just agreeing for the sake of not agreeing. It is not about not having own opinion but it is about having to avoid all the unnecessary arguement or disagreement. I have come to a long way to understand this. Morally, I was brought up to believe that we must tell the truth and hold what we believe but seriously in real life it is not the entire best approach.

Take for instance, after meeting in a room. How many would clean up their own mess? NONE. How many care to write proper emails? Seriously, people are selfish.

Anyway, back to work now. It was just some random thoughts.

End of March 2011

2011-03-30T08:24:00.000-07:00

March 2011 seems to be the month of anticipation and overly exhausted natural resources. What I meant was the core of the earth were unstable causing earthquakes and bad enough it has affected many lives, homes and hope for the Japanese after the devastating tsunami hit their land. I am beginning to think, is there any other things worth worrying about in the office when mother nature itself is already at its ill state?

My stomach had not been good lately. I recalled, having this prolonged diarrhoe during the weekend and worst still, I was in Bangkok attending training and could have enjoyed my food better if it wasn't the wind in my stomache causing me to visit the toilet more than I could. Did I enjoy Bangkok? Well, if it was for my own shopping, I would have been grinning from ear to ear however it was for official trip and... I had to travel with my other direct report. She is like 53 years old and is a typical Chinese women whom you would have dreaded to go out to exotic places like Thailand.

I bought this really nice pair of glasses with polorized capability. I really like the design however it cost me for THB 150,000 (close to RM150). I was on shopping spree practically buying bubble bath gel and some beauty mask product. Bought this really nice bottle called, "Purity Vodka" as well. Will I go back to Thailand for my 3rd visit? Yeah, I probably would. The food is nice and it is like a shopping spree!

Talking about shopping? I have sucumbed to Uniqlo. I just love the cutting of the shirts and colours compared to Marks & Spencers. Uniqlo gave a nice fitting while Marks' is pretty conservative in its approach. I couldn't believe my eyes, that I already have 6 pairs of Uniqlo working clothes shirt! Yeah, and each shirt costs RM129! The thing is, I really need to change my wardrobe. I really need to dress nicer for myself and not buying anymore things for other people.

How's work? Well, did a presentation on Wednesday and meeting all over from morning till evening. Am I enjoying myself so far in the office? Yeah, I would if the officemates leaves me alone and don't talk to me. I really want my own space. I really don't feel comfortable having to nod and seemed interested when I clearly do not like what I just hear.

Anyway, have a good closing of March 2011 and let's just move on to April!

Cough Cough Cough

2011-01-28T22:13:00.000-08:00

My dad said people usually fall sick towards Chinese New Year. That is the time when winter turns to spring time and the changes in the weather will cause shocking temperature changes in the body. I am feeling a little feverish with flu in tact. My only friend nowadays would be the healthy 1000mg of vitamin C that I consume every morning and evenings. My body is tired too due to my new line of work in the head office. I no longer feel the same nor have any space in doing some thinking or really plan for things. Not that I am not capable but it was actually some invasion of space by some women bosses. It is totally weird and unconfortable having to work in the departments full with them. They just can't leave the men alone nor think aloud of what is important and what is not. The micro managing mode irritates people and somehow or rather hits the annoyance button of me most of the time.

Having to work in the middle of KL deters me from leaving the office early. Leaving the office on time causes all eyes to watch and little noises starts spreading. The people issue surrounds on productivities and relationship building. This is getting weirder and the only way to beat it is by joining in. I know it is bad but somehow or rather blending in is not so bad at all.

Chinese New Year is fast approaching and there will be lots of family catching up to. Here is to all .. Happy Chinese New Year! Get fat, people!

Hey, it is 1.1.11

2011-01-01T08:14:00.000-08:00

Passed midnight. It was a peace and quiet New Year to me. I was at home for first half of the day tanned at the pool side and attempted to touch the chapter one of my dissertation. I didn't achieve much actually. Was it because of a telephone call from one of my ex direct reports about his intention to move out from his current job? I would say, that could be part of the reason. My main advise to him was to think carefully about the logistics, and also to be open to any opportunities that comes along the way. At times I am also quite sceptical to give any further advise because I have had some experience about giving advise but the intent of the advise went the opposite way.

The party at Chris' last night was ok. All of us were too full to move about but we had a good time watching the new year fire works from his 21st floor apartment overlooking at KLCC. As usual, we put on some shows on the tv and chat the night away. All of us called it a night after 3.30am.

What's my plan for the rest of the week ahead? I need to finish reading Malcolm Gladwell's book, write a literature review and gear up for another exciting 2011.

Happy New Year!

2010-12-31T11:38:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everybody! 1.1.2011 is the day we welcome the new year and reflect back on some of the activities that we have gone through. There are certain things which we want to put it in our list to start, continue or even stop doing.

I was at Chris' place during new year's eve for countdown. It was a small gathering with a few close friends chit chatting, taking photos and watched some music videos. In fact, these are the closest friends that depend on each other in the office as well. The same group of people that meet up for breakfast from Mondays to Fridays. I left Setapak almost around 3am.

I recall several years before I would probably be dancing in a club for my countdown but age is catching up that I just want to sit down quietly with a bunch of friends having good laugh on events that happened in the office.

What do I expect in 2011? I will have to complete my dissertation, fill my calenders with at least a major musical and hopefully to receive a promotion with better salary on top of excellent health condition. What's in store for 2011? We are not sure. Just live life as it is.

Happy New Year!

Managing Timelines

2010-12-30T06:24:00.000-08:00

As usual, I will do my rounds in the office and by doing that, I tend to check on my staffs' work as well as being stopped by colleagues at workstation for casual chat. The usual chat I have with this young female colleague was repetitive most of the time I see her. She is 24 years old this year and have been placed quite high rank in the company despite of being only less than 2 years in the organization. The higher management initially hired her as an intern management trainee program and recognized her talent in critical thinking. And so, she is up there. Her thoughts are pretty structured but unfortunately lack of experience. Her ability of asking the usual 5 WH + 1 HW questions gets on alot of people's nerve. She likes to chase timeline and as usual would participates in 'high level' discussions. My take on this is that, she feels highly motivated however at the end, she won't get buy in from her peers because of her age and her over-excited behaviour in the office. How do we know if they can't collaborate well with other? Just take a look at them during lunch time. They are normally alone. I mean, I have nothing against eating alone but somehow these kind of people are usually very lonely.

Now back to my usual day in the office. There are exactly 50% lesser staff force on my floor. Many has gone for their annual leave leaving the rest loitering around and irritating others. This is the time of the year that many of us are experiencing some additional hours in deep thoughts. My deep thoughts are like, how am I going to finish up my dissertations while, planning my activities for the next day. As you might already knew it, the government had declared national holiday due to our country winning a football tournament after 17 years in history. It was an achievement but I feel the move was wise because, there are many who dread to go to the office and therefore, declaring a public holiday was probably a blessing to disguise for many.

I am happy that my immediate boss is not around for the past 2 weeks. At least there are some peaceful moments rather than being called to do admin work for her. I am glad I had that peace so far. It will not be the same because she will be back next week.

Whatever it is, happy new year to all!

Well, goodbye 2010

2010-12-29T08:25:00.000-08:00

I was just looking at the attendance sheet that I usually upkeep for my staffs. Looks like quite a number of my team members would need to cancel their leave on the new year's eve because the government have just announced a public holiday on the same day due to the recent victory of soccer. I am quite happy with the announcement though, at least, I don't have to crawl to the office like everyday.

How's today? Well, the usual mad rush of doing presentation slides and doing work for others in the office. Perhaps I am too accommodating and it feels easy to be handled over with some other people's tasks. That is what's happening nowadays, office that are full with female colleagues will end you up with huge amount of unnecessary activities causing you to loose focus on your daily routines. I confirmed that I would much prefer a male boss simply because working with the opposite sex cause time, money and energy. Male boss do not victimize you as much as the lady bosses.

Anyway, Happy New Year!